Each year I meet dozens of clients who take off work the first couple weeks of getting their new puppy and others who work from home, or are retired, and have a schedule flexible enough to train their dog. All want their dogs to be well-behaved and some have higher goals like service dog or therapy dog.
Unfortunately, quite often these same clients are the ones whose dogs develop behavior that is the exact opposite of their goals. Instead of a calm, independent dog capable of making good choices, the dog develops separation anxiety, isolation distress, destructive chewing, housebreaking issues, impatience, or various forms of barking.
Q: The owners had so much time to train, and to nurture their constant companion, so what went wrong?!
A: The owners spent too much time, prematurely, in constant close quarters with their dog. It is very cute when your new puppy follows you from room to room but based on what I have seen, I am always concerned this can lead to unsavory behavior. It is critical for your dog to learn how to be alone because it is not realistic to do otherwise.
Too much too soon
It is no coincidence that this problem occurs so often with my clients whom need their dogs to become service dogs or emotional support animals. These clients truly need the constant support of a dog. Yet if we rush it due to our own needs, and skip the foundation work, we are not allowing our dogs to develop the life skills that fulfil their needs.
Similarly, with people who only want a well-behaved pet, but are constantly at home with them and cater to their every wish and pick them up every time they whine, they are potentially creating a dog that is not capable of being alone.
With good intentions, many people accidentally spoil their puppies and create an over-bonded situation. Without learning about boundaries, impulse control, patience, independence, and problem solving, the dog won’t be able to emotionally support you, or to even emotionally support himself.
“Put your dog down”
Sometimes it is about genetics, or about what happened before you adopted your dog or puppy. However, there are lots of actions you can take to prevent the issues, or to alleviate the issues if your dog came with them pre-installed.
· Consult with a qualified certified trainer or behavior consultant, to determine exactly what steps to take. All dogs are unique, and some of my below, more umbrella suggestions may not be the appropriate steps for you to take. This is our job. Let us help!
· Crate train your dog. Some people do it only at night, but I suggest you do it in the day time too, both when you are home, and when you leave. Most dogs get transitioned out of needing the crate, but I continue using it periodically until they are 1 to 2 years old. It becomes a life skill they can always use in the future.
· Don’t rush getting your dog into your bed. Over-bonding and proximity addiction are directly correlated to many unhealthy behavior issues. One of the easiest ways to create these problems is to allow your developing dog to sleep in your bed at too young of an age or to have your new rescue dog in your bed. Some say never to allow dogs to be bed sleepers. My perspective is that it is ok, if it does not run contrary to training goals, and if your dog has already developed at least 18 months of independence.
· Teach your dog to settle while tethered, or in another room behind a baby gate while you come and go. Keep the tethering supervised. Avoid thinking, “Oh he did so well settling on the dog bed, so I stopped using the tether. Absolutely not! The tether is the physical component that gives your dog the psychological growth.
· Put you dog down. My mentor, the late, great Jonathan Klein, used to frequently tell our clients to put their dog down onto the floor, and let her walk on her own. In other words, to stop carrying your puppy. Allow the puppy to develop independence.
· When driving in the car, use a car harness or car crate. Your lap or the seat next to you is NOT a safe place for your dog. After investing so much love and money into your dog, don’t stop when it comes to life saving matters.
· Require the dog to sit to say please. Wanting doesn’t automatically mean getting.
· Deny some requests. It will be great if your dog sits to say please (for petting, food, couch, etc), but now that they have that step time for the next step: acknowledge some of the requests, and kindly decline the ask.
· Moderate your cuddle sessions. Keep it fun, keep it brief. 3 hours of couch bliss every day will be slowly nicking away at your dog’s independence. Balance here is key. Better to have your dog cuddle awhile and then either be tethered, or at your feet on leash or relaxing not always at your side.
· Leave your puppy at home, a lot, when you first get her. For sure, you want your puppy to learn about the world, and to have positive outings and socialization within the first twenty weeks. Yet, don’t take your dog with you everywhere, every time. This goes back to independence building. This article isn’t just about puppies though, same goes for a new rescue although the early socialization window most likely will be closed for a rescue.
In Summary
While some of this may seem over-controlled, keep in mind that this article mostly pertains to the initial foundation period of a new puppy, or during the initial rules and lifestyle learning period of a new rescue. We often revisit these guidelines as brush up later in life, but for the most part they are meant to be a template for your success. These can be used for many dogs and puppies in many situations but are especially helpful to prevent the all too common dilemma of the work from home dog parent.
The above suggestions may vary greatly depending on the dog and your situation. Never try to completely train your dog based on bullet points from a website, or a YouTube channel. Therefore, we always recommend scheduling a consultation and taking action steps as soon as possible.
